It is halfway through the year and midterm grades are out–the phone in the teachers’ office is ringing off the hook as parents call in, wondering why Aaron or Ava did not get an A. Teacher after teach explains that little Kaitlyn did not do her work or Cole just hasn’t been studying. The parents wonder, why didn’t I know this earlier?
As a former classroom teacher, I know that most parents care deeply about their child’s success in school. And most teachers want their students to reach their goals, too.
Too often, though, we wait to develop a relationship with the educator until there is a challenge. And at that point the conversation more easily devolves into an adversarial relationship: who did what wrong?
You can partner with your child’s teacher for back to school success by establishing a sense of teamwork early on in the school year.
- Introduce yourself to the teacher during the first week of school either with a quick phone call or a short note. This is just a short greeting to let the teacher know that you are interested in supporting the teacher’s work with your child. Forward the teacher a card with your child’s name, your name, your phone number, and your e-mail address, and a short note communicating that the teacher should feel to contact you at any time.
- If your child has an IEP, make sure that you have the most recent copy and that teachers have the pertinent information from the IEP. IEPs must be accessible to classroom teachers but in many districts they are not distributed to the teacher due to confidentiality concerns. If this is the case, you may wish to notify the district that you will provide a copy to each teacher or to highlight relevant portions.
- Share your child’s learning style with the teacher in a positive way but keep in mind that your child may experience the classroom differently than he does the home. Let the teacher know that you find at home your child needs a few extra seconds or a pen and pad to write out an answer before responding to questions but then allow the teacher, your child, and the other students to find their own rhythm together.
- Try to attend “Back-to-School” night but save any larger areas of concern for a parent-teacher conference. This is an opportunity to match faces with names and to learn about the class.
- Make sure that you are receiving any communications your teacher is sending home. Let your child know that if he or she runs into any difficulties at school that you will help solve them but that if they are hiding information you cannot help and your child will lose your trust.
- Contact the teacher at your first concern. Approach the teacher as a partner (which will be easier if you said “hello” in the beginning of the year). Discuss ways you can better support your child’s learning. Have your child show you his assignment book and check in with your child as he works on long-term assignments.
- Remember that you have a one, possibly several kids in the class but a high school teacher may see 150 or more students a day. If you need to check-up on assignments, rather than then demanding the teacher e-mail you at regular intervals, schedule a reminder to yourself to contact the teacher. Let him know that you have not seen a quiz grade in a few weeks or that your child says there has not been an essay assigned and ask him to verify if that information is correct.
- Encourage your child to work towards age-appropriate independence and resist the urge to always save her from her own mistakes. Identify areas for which your child can be responsible: a kindergartner must remember his backpack, an elementary school students should write down assignments in a notepad, a high school students should be able to meet long-term deadlines with a minimal amount of reminders. Discuss expectations and provide plenty of practice, building towards eventual independence.
Start off on the right foot and you and your child’s teacher will be able to work together as a team.
Submitted by Candace Lindemann
